I went to my first meeting of Day Four (7th meeting) and shared about a huge risk I have to take tonight.
Tonight I will be at an event I don't have the option not to attend, and there will be an open bar.
Yes, an open bar. An alcoholics wet dream! All we can drink... and its FREE!!! YEA BABY!!
I'm scared shitless so to speak. Do I have the will power to overcome this obstacle?
The meeting then turned from an open discussion on Step 7 into an advice forum, all directed at me.
Overwhelmed - thats how i felt. Overwhelmed with a sense of not being alone in this for the first time ever.
Knowing that so many strangers cared enough to take this meeting and tailor it to my specific problem after only 4 days into my sobriety. I stayed for an hour afterwards, people were lined up for support. Giving me numbers and telling me "call me first - don't drink!" "You've come so far, don't throw it away" even "Stay strong and go for day five... or if all else fails call me for a ride and I'll meet you the day after for another white chip." ha-ha the last was my favorite, directed at humor more than encouraging me to drink obviously. I love that about AA - we all have the same sick, fucked up sense of humor.
I'm happy I made it to the 12:00 'Brown Baggers' meeting today, and they've asked me to come back tomorrow and let them know what happens, good or bad. It'll be a new day either way - one for celebration or another white chip.
I'm an alcoholic...