Miracles...

I've always thought of miracles as having to be something major.

Examples: "That baby was really sick... it's a miracle she lived" or "Those miners were trapped in that mine for months, its a miracle they all survived."

Lately I've started noticing the little miracles in life.

I've been sober for 33 days today. That right there is a miracle in itself.

Everyday when I walk into an AA meeting and see familiar faces, just knowing those people are all still sober.... miracle.

Seeing someone who's gone back out to drink come back to an AA meeting... miracle.

Sobriety has made me notice the little miracles that happen in life everyday.

This week I was lucky enough to witness not only the miracle of my 30th day of sobriety, but also a miracle so big its left a lasting impact on me.

Last week my best friend's insurance company dropped her from her PHP Rehab Program (Partial Hospitalization Program) because she missed a day for being sick. Within 24 hours of that happening her mother accused her of using and brought her to the hospital for a drug test, and shortly thereafter her sponsor 'dropped' her. She had no idea what she was going to do, and to be honest I thought for sure she was going to give up. I don't think I've ever seen her so depressed.

I had no idea what to do, except keep getting her to meetings.

Monday her PHP program called and said she could complete her outpatient rehab program at a facility called Hazelden. She immediately perked right up and we drove over to speak with the admissions woman. Only problem was that PHP neglected to tell her insurance wouldn't cover this program. The cost with a substantial discount? $4500.00 which her mother refused to pay.

My mind went into overdrive. How could I get her into this program?

At one point I had a substantial amount of money, but I haven't worked in months and am in the process of starting a new company. I simply don't have that kind of cash. I began to go though my art collection to see what I could sell to make this happen.

She would have never let me pay, so the plan was to sell whatever I had to (even if it was everything I own) to get the money, then tell her it was paid for by some sort of foundation. I was scrambling and panicking trying to figure out how to make it work. Simply put I love her... not getting her into this program was NOT an option.

Tuesday a miracle happened. We had both briefly spoke with this nice man at AA meetings before, mostly just in passing over a cigarette. At one point she mentioned Hazelden and he told her he was very familiar with the program and if she had any questions,  needed any information, or a contact at the place to just ask.

Monday it just so happened that she sat next to him for a cigarette after a meeting, and she told him about not being able to get into the program. He said he would make some calls and she would get into the program. We both wern't sure what this ment... but the prospect was very exciting.

Yesterday I was at a meeting with him, and we began talking over a cigarette post meeting as usual. He asked me about my friend and I told him how I was scrambling to find the money to make it work.

This is where the miracle comes in. He told me that he wanted to pay for her program. No strings attached. He didn't want anyone to know it was him,  didn't want anything in return. Just wanted to 'Pay it Forward' because someone had done the same for him years ago. All he asked was that she do the same someday when she can. He asked me to relay everything he had said to me, and encourage her to say yes.

I quickly came home and told her. She spoke to him at some length over the phone, and now begins her IOP (Intensive Outpatient Program) this coming week.

The first reaction I had was EXTREME guilt that for the first time ever I didn't have the money. I felt horrible for letting this complete stranger pay for her program. Suddenly I lost it in the middle of the day, broke down and cried. How could my life have come to this point? WHAT THE FUCK had I done to my life?

My mother gave me a hug and explained that this truly was a miracle. I had prayed on this for awhile now, but I guess I didn't expect my prayers to be answered in this form.

Without this program there is no doubt in my mind she would have ended up back in an inpatient facility at some point in the future. She needs this outpatient program.

I don't know how or what I would have done to pay for this... as they say desperate people do desperate things, and we were both desperate.

This is a true miracle, and this generous stranger; this generous angel surely gave my friend a gift she'll remember for the rest of her life.

Today I'm still upset I couldn't help, but I'm now looking at this as a miracle. Someday I too will pay this forward. It's changed not only her life, but mine as well.

Thank you kind stranger. You will never truly realize the miracle you've bestowed on us both.

God works in mysterious ways. Thank you lord.

My name's Bruce, and I'm an alcoholic...